You may think relationships are based solely on your family, friends, or community, but you may also want to consider the relationships you have with your culture and race and how they may impact your personal relationships as well as your identity.
Your relationship with your culture and race is often defined by your family and/or the community you are living in; but what happens if your culture and race doesn’t align with your family and community? Furthermore, how does society’s narration and unspoken social assumptions of race and culture affect your identity and relationships with others.
For example, as a Korean American Adoptee, I found myself having to navigate my relationships and identity in my White American upbringing while the society saw me as an Asian American person.
In the workplace, a school counselor made an assumption about my racial and cultural identity when asking for my assistance with an Asian American student who was in crisis. I found out later, my assistance wasn’t needed as a school social worker, but because of my colleague’s assumption that I would understand this student’s culture who was Chinese American, and because both of us were “Asian”, even though I didn’t know the child’s cultural background as Chinese American. Another time, I was on the phone and a person was surprised that I was Asian because I didn’t have an “Asian” accent or an Asian first or last name. Nothing in my name referenced my culture or racial identity.
An important part of being in a relationship both with people and race and culture is through validation that comes from being seen, heard, and affirmed. We all want and need this. Below are some strategies to navigate the relationships with culture and race:
- Be comfortable being uncomfortable. Get out of your comfort zone.
- Don’t make assumptions. Be curious and ask questions.
- Explore and experience new things.
- Embrace change and let go of expectations, even when it’s hard. Grow with it
- Get adjusted to the local environment or the community. Basic words, culture, customs.
- Communicate with clarity between different people.
Is there a strategy you could use or a strategy you are currently using? Please share.